Miss Kings:
“Why are you going?” My friend asked me. “I have to travel the world, I want to see everything.” I replied. “Will you ever come back? I might miss you.” he said. “Probably. Maybe in a few years. I’ll email.” I said to him.
Jordenne using speech and adding more detail:
Sitting on the sand looking at the wave going back and forward. Sammy, my best friend asked me in a sad voice, “Jason, why are you going”. I stared at his brown eyes, and said “I want to travel the world, and see everything”. He looked down and felt sad, and asked again, “Will you come back? I just feel so sad letting go my best friend”he said. His eyes was watery, and I was too nervous to say no. So I said”Probably”. I hugged Sammy and said”Maybe in a few years. I’ll email you ok”. I said to him.
nice writing....and a very interesting theme. Your conversation in the story is very good and I like the words and visuals used to express how the characters feel....very nice bub. Your story writing is so good now...keep reading books as that will improve your story writing, vocabulary and spelling. Good girl. Mum x
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