Thursday, November 1, 2012

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

As Charlie was walking home, he looked down and found a coin. Charlie bent down and grabbed it. He held it into his hands and walked to the shops and bought a Wonka bar.

“May I help you” the shop owner said. “Can I please have a chocolate bar, a big one please” Charlie answered. The shop owner went to grab the chocolate and gave it to Charlie. “Here have this, the scrumdiddlyumptious”. Charlie snatched it off the shop owners hands, and ripped the cover off. He shoveled it into his mouth without even chewing.

“Excuse me” the shop owner said while he was putting his hand out for the coin. “Excuse me”.
“Oh sorry, here” Charlie answered. Charlie walked towards the door but then he stopped and went back and asked for another chocolate bar for.

The shop owner saw Charlie coming to him again. “May I have another Wonka bar for my grandpa Joe please” said Charlie. “Here why don’t you try an original one. I don’t need to hide anymore because all the Golden tickets have been found” replied the shop owner. Charlie gave him the change that he had and walked outside.

He saw heaps of people jostling around the news paper. “Hey, the fifth ticket is a fake” the man in the crowd shouted. Charlie realised he still have a chance to win the fifth Golden ticket, so he went behind the shop and slowly started to rip the cover off the chocolate.

As Charlie was ripping the cover off, he saw a GOLDEN TICKET. He quickly closed it and ripped it again really fast, and held the ticket in front of him. Suddenly a woman came and grabbed Charlie’s hand and shouted”He’s got the fifth Golden ticket”.

People were pushing through each other and trying to get the Golden ticket. He held it up so no one would get it. Charlie heard someone calling him”Charlie, Charlie” it was a man from the crowd.

The man held Charlie’s hand and pushed everyone so Charlie could go home. “Run home Charlie, don’t stop running” The man shouted. Charlie ran all the way home and showed his family the Golden Ticket.



    You are so amazing because you finish your work first. Lucky you because you got free time.
    You are super this term and you are thinking so much. This story about CATCF is so amazing to read especially the talking. My favourite bit of them talking is how the shop said "Excuse me" and that was why I liked it and it was all so funny to read. This term you have interesting things to write about in you retells or narrative. You are a smart girl! !WELL DONE!
    Can't wait to see more!
    And keep up the awesome work JORDENNE ETEUATI!

  2. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one of my favourite movies and I watched it so many times while I was growing up. And thats one of my favourite part of the movie where Charlie finds the ticket. Great writing're doing great! love you. Mum x

  3. “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one of my favourite movies and I watched it so many times. I Like the bit that says that Charlie runs away with the Golden Ticket...